Thursday, October 8, 2020
What Does Agape Love Look Like?
Love... doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others. 1 Corinthians 13:5, Message.
When Sir Ernest Shackleton was exploring in the Antarctic, he faced a very difficult hour as their rations became depleted. Finally, the last few biscuits were given out to the men. There was not a crumb of anything left. That night Shackleton lay awake in his sleeping bag with their peril heavy on his mind. He knew that death by starvation was near unless something happened.
As he lay there with thoughts he dared not express keeping him from sleep, from the corner of his eye he noticed movement by one of his men. A cold chill came over him as he realized this man was stealthily reaching for the food bag of the man next to him. Shackleton still pretended to be asleep. His mind reeled; he could not believe what he was seeing. This was one of his most trusted men.
Still, he knew that starving men sometimes acted like predators.
He was not disturbed for long, however. The man did reach for the food container of his companion...and then quietly took his last biscuit and placed it in the other man's parcel before lying down to sleep. That is the companionship and the cost of real love.
To this Paul adds the words, "Love does not seek its own." Another version puts it: "Love does not act in its own interest" which explains why God frowns on sex apart from the relationship of marriage. Love acting in its own interest is not the agape love that is described by Paul. When the expression of love does not embrace the total needs of the other--psychological, physical, and spiritual-- it falls short of this test which Paul articulates. Agape love produces an unspoken commitment (without conditions or strings attached) to meet the needs of the person who is the object of affection, and along with that commitment comes personal sacrifice which is not difficult to make.
"Love," writes Paul, "is not provoked." George Bernard Shaw once said, "I was taught when I was young that if people would only love one another, all would be well with the world. This seemed simple and very nice, but I found when I tried to put it into practice not only that other people were seldom lovable, but that I was not very lovable myself." That is the predicament that we often find ourselves in--not only are others unlovable but when we are honest with ourselves we have to admit that we are not very lovable either.
A gardener wrote to the U.S. Department of Agriculture and said, "I've tried everything I've ever heard or read, including all your bulletins, on how to get rid of dandelions--and I've still got them." By return mail he received the last word on the subject.
"Dear Sir," read the letter, "if you have tried everything and you still have dandelions, then there is only one thing left for you to do: learn to love them."
We are amused at that candid bit of advice, but life is much like the lawn full of dandelions. We want to be rid of them any way we can- -kill them by spraying (that is, the dandelions), dig them, bomb them, pull them out--destroy them however, but get rid of them! Nonetheless, at times the dandelions hang in there, and God expects us to learn to love them, and by the alchemy of love see the dandelions of life turn to daisies. When Paul wrote to the Romans, he told them that God's love comes through the Holy Spirit who is given to us. The only way to love those without is to have God's love within. That's for sure.
Resource reading: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
https://www.guidelines.org/devotional/what-does-agape-love-look-like/